Things
are hard. I can't get out of the chair and get what I want, I can't go
to the store and buy my own food, I can't get out and enjoy this
beautiful day and shoot I can't even take a shower. I'm not in to much more pain. It comes an goes (as
long as it isn't constant i'm fine) and is still worse at night but
for the most part my pain is gone. Now I should be in a good mood,
right? Now I shouldn't have a short temper, right? WRONG! I'm in a
position that inhibits me from doing just about anything. So me being
me, I can't stand having other people help me, I can't stand being
stuck and I never have been and never will be a homebody. So ask me
again why I'm still frustrated and their ya have it.
I
want to be out in the sun. I want to go on a walk. I want to do
ANYTHING! Yet I hate when people stair and wont even make eye
contact. People look at me like I'm crazy or like I'm going to harm
them. I have watched people go out of their way to avoid walking past
me. And to think-- I used to be like that. People who where missing
limbs freaked me out. I didn't want to talk to them in fear I would
make an awkward situation even more so awkward by saying something
stupid. I always wondered if it was appropriate after being caught
staring at the lack of an appendage to ask what happened?Now I think I now the answer.
I'm the same person I always have been, but
now I'm forced to look at everyone’s butts. I'm missing a leg but
that doesn't mean I don't want to have a conversation in line at the
bank, waiting to get money. That doesn't mean I don't want to talk
about the weather on a nice day with a stranger. Ask away, I'll be
more than happy to share how loosing this leg was the second best
thing that has ever happened to me. Ask me how I'm handling it, if I
miss my leg, if it suck looking at all of your asses, and I will tell
you. But don't— PLEASE don't alienate me, don't pretend like I
don't exist and don't stair at my leg and when caught act like
nothing happened. I'm still a person and I still have feelings and
the need, the want, to be social.
So
maybe I'm being punished for my complete and blatant ignorance, but
at least I can sit here and tell all of you what not to do. I was
dumb and more just scared to make what could be a bad situation worse
and I thought no communication would be best. Now I find out the hard
way that I was so wrong. I was doing the exact opposite of what would
help. If you see someone with no limb, TALK!!! If you see someone
with terrible burns all over their face, TALK!!! We are all human,
some of us just have way more wicked scars than the rest. And we all know
“pain heals, chicks dig scars and glory lasts forever". So I maybe
the only person you know who has something missing, but now you know
how to act with the next guy. Love you all and hope everything is
going so great in each and everyone of your lives Happy Easter!
Stay classy Tacoma (and surrounding areas)
DREWNUBYMO